Up For Debate (Love and Desire Book 1) Read online

  She smiles at me and I feel warmth radiate from her. Lawson should lock her down right now and marry her ass. A child psychologist. She would make a wonderful senator’s wife. She inquires about Reece’s and my life back in Portland. I give her the basics; the apartment we live in, his job and mine, his interest in starting up his own restaurant. She’s easy to talk to and the evening passes quicker than I expected as Reece joins me next to her.

  “I think this thing is wrapping up. Are you ready for dinner?” I nod my head at him. “It’s good to see you again Kayla,” Reece tells her, and I offer her a wave and a smile.

  Reece holds my hand and weaves me through the various business owners still chatting. Reece throws up a hand to Lawson as we near the exit to alert him to our departure. It’s evident that he cuts off the person he’s talking to and politely excuses himself to come over to Reece.

  “Hey, thanks for coming again and playing the part of supportive family. Y’all heading back to Mom and Dad’s?”

  “No, we’re going to go catch a bite to eat. The rental car is at Table and Tavern, so we’re going to Uber there and get dinner before heading home.”

  “I can take you guys,” Lawson offers, and I’m pulled from a trance I didn’t know I was in. What? Why?

  “No, that’s okay I already ordered the Uber and I’m sure you need to stay here.”

  “Cancel it. I don’t need to stay. I’ve done all my introductions and campaigning for the evening and this event could go all night the way some of these people drink. I’ll take you, we can grab dinner together.”

  My heart sinks. The time I thought I was going to get to have alone with my boyfriend is once again taken from me and by no less than my ex-boyfriend and his brother. It feels nosy and invasive to have him there.

  “Will Kayla be joining us?” I ask. Lawson redirects his attention to me for the first time in days and the look that registers on his face tells me that he didn’t realize I’d met Kayla just yet.

  “Yeah… sure. I’ll go grab her and meet you outside.”

  Reece leads me by my hand out the door until we reach Lawson’s car.

  “Are you okay with this? I know it’s still weird for y’all. You can get the rental when we arrive and go straight home if you want.”

  “No. It’s fine,” I assure him. “This stuff has to happen at some point. I’m just being greedy of my time with you.” I should tell him about Lawson coming to talk the first night we arrived. We addressed the elephant in the room and inflated it, making it even larger. The anger and resentment are still very viable.

  “That’s my girl,” he says whilst kissing my temple.

  Lawson and Kayla are spotted exiting the building and I offer her a small wave.

  “Looks like we will get that double date after all,” she says with a smile and I mirror it.

  The look Lawson shoots me is lethal and punishing. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ I want to say to him. I didn’t plan this. That was merely a nicety, although I must admit I prefer her here than being alone with just Lawson and Reece.

  Reece and I climb into the back seat of Lawson’s once again small and overpriced car. Some things never change. The ride over is quiet and Lawson plays music to replace the empty space our conversation should fill.

  Upon arriving, I scope out the restaurant to make sure a new shift has arrived since my buzzed lunch earlier in the day, or I might have to bail early, but the coast looks clear and the dinner staff looks fresh-faced and unfamiliar with my drink order.

  I don’t realize I’m hungry until my stomach growls as soon as the scent of fried seafood hits me. We mostly drank our lunch with a few appetizers. I seat myself on the same side as Reece but across from Kayla so that I can have as little interaction with Lawson as possible. I immediately strike up conversation with Kayla, giving Reece and Lawson a chance to talk. I doubt they’ve had any one on one time together during this trip. I pick Kayla’s brain about her current hospital, trying to learn the dynamics of a different facility.

  Our waiter, a young kid that looks like he’s still in high school, approaches our side of the table with a pen and pad ready to take our orders. Kayla starts, and I catch the kid staring at her as she points to the area on the menu, showing her requested drink. It’s clear he’s smitten with her blonde hair and the beautiful smile she gives him. I want to laugh but hold it in. Lawson orders next, around the table to Reece before I round out our order of drinks, and I name off my usual.

  “Cherry vodka, please.”

  The young boy is offering me the same shy smile that Kayla received, and he repeats the order back to us before uncomfortably bailing to the bar to place our order.

  “I think that poor kid came in his pants staring at you two. Y’all really should have worn your potato sacks out tonight,” Reece playfully scolds, and his southern accent starts making a reappearance. I guess that’s what a week in the south will do to you.

  Lawson offers up a weak smile at his joke but looks annoyed. Kayla and I both giggle at Reece’s remark before returning to our previous conversation. When the waiter returns with our drinks, I’m ready to order and I hope that everyone else is too, knowing the liquor will kick right back in if I don’t get a little substance in my stomach soon.

  After placing our orders we return to our conversations and I feel Reece’s hand stroking my inner thigh. It’s distracting, and I don’t do a very good job of hiding it, especially when he glides it higher, under my dress only for the briefest moment, caressing me where I ache for him most. I cough to cover what wants to be a moan, and as fast as he arrived there, he slides his hand back down to my knee. I can tell I’ve fooled no one at the table but nonetheless Reece embarks on a conversation about policy with Lawson, and I avert his cold stare. Not that I don’t appreciate Reece’s evident desire to tease me, I love that about him. He’s always been so frivolous in our sex life—agreeable anytime and especially anywhere, but he’s being arrogant in thinking he can make moves like this in front of his brother, who so clearly is reading right through us right now.

  “What have you decided to do about your immigration stance? It’s very big in the public eye and you’ll be scrutinized for every comment and move you make.”

  Lawson’s glare finally returns to Reece and neutralizes. “I’ll do what I need to. I’m a moderate when it comes to the discussion on immigrants and nobody likes a moderate. Moderates don’t win elections anymore. Sad, but true. I’ll encourage the increase in border patrols, but I also have a plan I want to push in the senate about opening pathways to citizenship with stipulations for certain countries.”

  “Like the Middle East?” I challenge.

  “Parts of it,” he clarifies. “But not Turkey, if that’s specifically what you are asking about. Our relationship as allies still holds strong as far as I am aware, albeit rocky. That may change if they continue to do business with Russia and they can offer something we refuse to, but that’s less about immigration than it is about our foreign relations.”

  I nod my head, in understanding, but still with disappointment. I want to think that Lawson would be good for this country. He has always been innovative in his ideas and forceful in implementing his plans. He’s capable of being a fantastic leader, but he’s easily swayed. A room full of senators and house members could easily convince him of a vote swap and that’s what scares me. He is a people pleaser and I know that politics is about alliances even within your own department. I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine and that may mean caving on some votes in exchange for pulling more votes somewhere else. It’s strategy, I understand it, but I don’t have to like it. If he doesn’t walk into a room with his mind already made, there’s no telling how he will choose to lead his state and country. It’s his biggest flaw, and partially why I had to leave.

  Our food arrives and we all order another round of drinks, except for Kayla who says she doesn’t want to be hungover while driving back to Columbia.

  “Kayla, it’
s a shame you can’t come to the gala tomorrow. Not that anything terribly exciting ever happens, just that Lawson’s dancing skills will go unnoticed,” Reece makes friendly banter.

  “Oh, is that so? I didn’t realize Lawson had dancing skills, he must be very modest about them.” She smiles over at him and her blonde hair falls in front of one of her eyes.

  “My ballroom dancing is moderate. I was forced to take a class at a young age, but I don’t particularly enjoy doing it. Reece is just jealous because he has no rhythm at all.”

  “I totally have rhythm, I just can only move to hip-hop, I don’t know how you dance to that other stuff. It’s too slow and hard to move to. If they played Beastie Boys, or Run DMX or… or…”

  “If you say Sir Mix-A-Lot, I’m going to have to end this right here right now,” I tell him and laugh at his genuine excitement and the others at the table join me in our laughter at Reece’s expense.

  “Hey, he may be a one-hit-wonder but try and tell me you don’t know every word to that song.”

  I knew every word because Reece often sang it to me when he was feeling playful… but also because it gets sang at every karaoke bar, every night.

  Reece breaks out some of the lyrics to the song a little too loud for societal norms and it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. What does, is when Lawson finishes the line for him, belting out the last part equally as loud. My shock must register because afterward, he plasters on a cocky smile as if to say, ‘You don’t know me as much as you think you do.’

  We’re all laughing now, and Lawson orders the three of us one more round. Kayla seems to be enjoying herself despite having to deal with a bunch of half-drunk crazies. After a couple of rounds, Reece stops drinking too so he can drive the rental home.

  The rest of the night, we carry on conversation, staying for far too long, when you can tell the staff is ready for us to hightail it out of there so they can go home. Lawson watches me, a little too much. I do the same and occasionally, we catch each other’s eyes. We are both naturally curious about the other, without wanting to spend any time alone. This group environment seems to be giving each of us the chance to spy on the other to learn who they are now. By the third time we bust each other glancing over, we both silently laugh, a smile spreading to our faces as we return to the conversation. It’s not as awkward as I thought it would be, a truce of sorts. He’s loosened up some after a few drinks, and almost the whole week to adjust, and it feels like we might be able to be friends in the end after all, maybe we just need more time, maybe our eyes just needed to readjust to seeing each other again.

  When we leave, Kayla offers to drive all of us home, but Reece and I don’t want to leave the rental behind again. She offers to take Lawson and we follow behind in our car. Lawson pays for all of our meals, going on about us being guests, but it’s not like he lives here either.

  We walk out to the cars and Reece and I trail behind them. He pulls me in close to his side and whispers in my ear, “I hope you’re not tired, because I think I feel a second wind coming on.”

  I clench my legs together, needing the pressure to relieve the desire he causes me.

  I watch as Kayla reaches out to hold Lawson’s hand and with my head on Reece’s shoulder, I admire them but am reminded of Lawson’s rigidity when he promptly pulls from her hand. A group dinner is one thing, but a media blitz of him leaving a restaurant hand-holding with a woman is another, even if she has been at every one of his events this week, they haven’t announced their relationship to the public, so it’s as good as non-existent. My heart goes out to her. It takes a better woman than me to hang around for lonely nights and hidden relationships. It’s a shame Lawson isn’t already married because now that he’s going to be in the spotlight, his dating life will be picked apart in the media.

  As we reach the rental, Reece cozies up to me, his hand sliding up my thigh once more.

  “I can’t wait to get you home.”

  CHAPTER 14 – PRESENT

  When I roll out of bed my head feels groggy and I have a mild headache pulsing behind my eyes. I don’t have the energy or decency to get dressed before going downstairs today and just decide that I will deal with Emily or William’s wrath and dirty glares at my too-small pajama shorts and tank top. I’m lucky to find that neither of them are present, but both Reece and Lawson are splayed across the couches looking equally as exhausted. I’m surprised to see Lawson still here this late in the morning. Both guys acknowledge me as I come down the stairs. I glance out the window and notice that both their parents’ vehicles are gone. I make myself some oatmeal and head to the couch to join them as I eat, which would never be allowed if Emily and William were here.

  “Where are your parents?” I ask.

  “Dad’s at the club,” they say at the same time before Lawson lets Reece finish. “And Mom is helping set up for the gala tomorrow. She asked me to come help move things over there, pick up the cakes and things like that, but I’ve been procrastinating leaving.”

  I scrunch my face at him, letting him know I feel his pain. That sounds like a miserable day.

  “I have to find a dress today or I’ll have to resort to wearing my finest blue jeans.”

  “I kind of need the car to help Mom out. Do you think you could Uber to the mall?” I can see the guilt on his face.

  “Yeah,” I say right as I hear, “No,” come from Lawson’s side of the couch.

  I rear my head back surprised.

  “I’m sorry?” I say, asking for clarification, now that he has both mine and Reece’s attention.

  “I just mean no, you shouldn’t have to Uber. I pass right by there on the way to Jason’s office where I have to go to work for a few hours. I can drop you off and pick you back up.”

  Reece pulls his head back around to me, looking at me as if to convey to me that I can say no, or to pick up on any sign of my discomfort that he should pipe in and redirect other options. Lawson seems to have turned into our own personal chauffeur the past few days and I’m not sure what he’s getting at.

  “Yeah, that’s fine. I may need a few hours to find a dress, shoes, the works.”

  “I have to go in for at least two so that should work for me,” he says.

  Maybe we all just needed a little alcohol last night to lighten the tension.

  “Okay,” I agree softly, nodding my head.

  Lawson’s attention returns to the TV and so does my own. The news, at nine AM. Such is a politician’s life. My phone dings next to me and I pick it up.

  Are you sure? Reece’s text reads, and I glance over at him without making it obvious to see him glaring at his own phone.

  No big deal, I reply.

  It’s the first time y’all will be alone… his message trails off.

  Follow me, I type back.

  “I’ll go get dressed,” I announce out loud. “Just let me know when you’re leaving, Lawson.”

  He nods without making eye contact and I make my way upstairs to my room. After a moment I hear footsteps and the lightest knock on my door.

  “I can drop you off,” Reece says right as he enters. “You just may have to wait for me to pick you up or Uber home, but I’m sure I can figure something out.”

  Reece is one of the most self-assured people I know. The Calhoun family was bred to exude confidence, so I’m not sure why in my years of knowing Reece, I’m sensing some hesitation from him like he’s not telling me something.

  “Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking,” I say to him.

  He sits on the bed that I didn’t bother to make today and runs a hand through his silky dark hair.

  “I’m just nervous for you. I can sense the awkward tension between you guys and… I don’t know. It’s weird for me and I’m not even the one in the position. I don’t know if it’s just old history or current tension, or if you two feel like strangers or if you feel like exes. I don’t get it. I know that you coming was kind of my idea and pushed by me but I just wasn’t expecting�
� this,” he reveals.

  I nod, taking a second to take it all in and going to sit next to him on the bed. “I’m not sure what to tell you. It’s weird, for sure. I know Lawson, but in a way, it feels like I don’t anymore. It feels like there are things we have to stay away from and not talk about, but maybe if he and I just freaking talked about them, openly, it would resolve. I’m not sure that’s the right answer, but it’s the only thing I can come up with.”

  He leans in and places his head on my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck. “I’m sorry my family sucks,” he huffs out.

  “Your family doesn’t suck,” I say on instinct. “Okay, well maybe this is not ideal, but at least your parents seemed to have made a monstrous freaky shift.”

  “I may have threatened them,” Reece divulges.

  I pull my head back to look at him and a small smirk tilts up on the side of his mouth.

  “You did what?!” I laugh out.

  “I may have threatened them. I might have warned them that I was the happiest I’d ever been, and that was because of you and that I was every bit planning to marry you when you’re ready and if they were a bag of dicks to you, then we wouldn’t be coming down, like ever.” He’s grinning from ear to ear now and his boyish dimples have me laughing in disbelief and swooning at the same time.

  “You didn’t,” I say assured.

  “I did,” he confirms and lifts a hand to my jaw to pull me into his warm mouth, his tongue tracing my own and I begin to feel warm and turned on.

  He wants to marry me. I knew this, I mean we don’t say it often, but it’s been three years and we aren’t spring chickens anymore. I knew we were in this for the long haul so I’m not sure why hearing it still sends a bit of shock through me and makes me nervous. My skin pebbles with goose bumps as he pulls me to a laying position on our sides. His large palm traces my chin and he runs his fingers through my hair at the base of my neck. His other hand, firm on my hip, holding me to him as I notice his erection pulsing on my thigh. His lips assault mine and our pace quickens. He pulls at my tank top, leaving me topless and makes quick work to remove my bottoms as well. In only a pair of athletic shorts, I remove the tented sheath before he climbs over me.